Consulting criminal and good old fashioned villain
[Indie rp blog; mun and muse 18+; nsfw a distinct possibility]
"The past is merely a string of footsteps. The future is infinite." //Indie Yu-Gi-Oh DM rp blog. Mun…
Irene. You’re sounding drunk this evening.
//Just a reminder that this exists. And that I stare at it like I’m being hypnotized.
//UM GUYS THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FROM THE TWO YEAR MARK. AKA TODAY. AND NOW I’M UPSET.
Good thing it’s a drabble and not a headcanon. Amiright?
Ever since I met you, I’ve felt drawn to you. So much that I hated you sometimes, because I don’t like needing anybody. But I need you. I do. Even from the beginning I needed you- to keep me connected, to keep things real.
But I didn’t always love you. That’s no secret. Even when I’d accepted that I needed you- however grudgingly that happened- I wanted to draw a line for myself. I could need you, but I still had to protect myself. I could need you, but it couldn’t go any farther than that.
And then I left. I didn’t do it because I wanted to hurt you. To be honest, I did it because I wanted to protect you. To protect us both from what I had slowly come to realize. I loved you. And that was terrifying. It was something that could ruin us both, so I convinced myself that leaving was best- I convinced myself that you would be strong and that what you felt for me, if anything, was only the result of a game well played on my part. That was the lie I told to myself. The next lie was one I told to you- that I had died. And I thought that, taken together, those lies could save us both from the truth: that I loved you in a way that I had never thought was possible.
I was wrong of course. On every count. The longer I was alone, the more I became convinced of how much I really did love you. And I stayed away at first because I was ashamed to have been so wrong. And then I stayed away because I was scared. I’d been gone for so long…it would have killed me to come back and realize just how little you’d actually needed me.
But now…here we are. And, honestly, I’m still scared. I’m scared everymoment that everything around me will shatter and none of this will have been real- that I’ve invented everything that has made me so happy these past few months. I’m scared to care so much because it means that you and only you have the ability to utterly destroy me. I’m scared that any second I’ll wake up and I’ll be alone.
But then I look at you…and it’s almost impossible to describe how that feels. There is something so safe about you. All I have to do is look at you, and I know it’s real because I could never invent the look I get back. You’re so safe, Sebastian, so reassuring, so perfectly you, and every time I look at you, I’m home.
I love you.
[text] Are you planning to be back by Wednesday evening? -J
[ text ]: Tonight, actually. Everything cleaned up rather well and we got out early.
[text] Early? That’s a first for you and O’Connor.
[ text ]: I’m almost offended by the tone of surprise I read that with.
[text]: I’m glad it came through—I was worried for a moment. If you aren’t stopping at a pub, would you bring takeaway and a full meds fill?
[text]: Oh, and if you’ve anything scheduled for Wednesday, cancel it.